ARE WELFARE SCROUNGERS HAVING SEX WITH SWANSEA'S BRITONS? OR, THE MEANING OF MYERS, by Garvan Tiddley.
Sigh. Or, as Slavoj Žižek puts it in his recent book on the dialectical discursivity of self-actualising practices within late-capitalist faux-communitarian formations, 'Sigh'.
When Kevin Myers, himself a kind of pre-Saussurean signifier for the kind of interpellative mauvaise foi so redolent of what Habermas so pointedly thematises in his recent paper on the surreptitious structuration of autologically self-codifying media genres in 1970s West Germany, opens a recent article with the words: “We all know that the remarks in the garda car about rape were unacceptable”, we all know that he cannot possibly mean what he says. For it would surely be taking the intentional fallacy to a ludicrous – and ludic? – extreme to ascribe monological 'meaning' to the 'word' “unacceptable”.
Inscribed in that word is the very masculinist category of 'acceptability' which so patently serves as a kind of significatory Trojan horse for Myers' rightist ideologemes to disseminate beyond the matrix of his soi-disant textual ejaculations. He, in short, says X in order to insinuate, sous rature, not-X. A green sheep, anyone? Kind of like the guy at the football match (or should that - in a kind of subaltern gesturing to the primacy of the yankoid hegemony – read: soccer?) who insists on cheering for his favourite team.
We've all met him. The Bud-swigging, Springsteen-loving dude who cannot quite bring himself to admit that his real allegiance is channelized not to 'this particular team' but to the authoritarian notion of 'teamhood' itself.
It is both symptomatic, telling and revealing that Myers follows up his innoculative disclaimer about the “unacceptable” “remarks” (Myers' rhetorical disinflation of the state-sponsored Garda speech acts duly noted) “about” rape with a methinks-the-gentleman-doth-protest-too-much clincher: “That much is obvious.” For is there not a covert ideological complicity between the notion of obviousness and the concept of rape? Do not both partake of a certain phallogocentric unicity? Did I not recently co-write a book? Did we not set out to reality-test our belief that there is a great deal of social injustice in Europe? Did we not, to our surprise, find this hypothesis confirmed at every turn?
Do you, Kevin, still dare to eat that peach?
Friday, April 15, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The first duty of a chicken wing...
It seems that Nando's is becoming the acceptable face of fast food. Not only did Observer Food Monthly run a lengthy paen of praise some time ago, but now John Lanchester has reviewed the chain for The Guardian last Saturday.
Lanchester is a fine novelist and memoirist but his restaurant columns are...well... rather anodyne. And he likes Nando's chicken burger. Well, we all have our little weaknesses; mine is the mighty Big Mac.
"It is mysteriously popular with musicians," he writes. Mysteriously? If John Taverner and Simon Rattle were regulars, I could see the point. But he's referring to Jay-Z. Nothing mysterious about that at all.
Chicken wings marinated in piri-piri can be delightful (and if you want to try some, there are decent if nuclear ones at Gourmet Burger in Ranelagh). But the first duty of a chicken wing is to be crisp. Its second duty is to be succulent within its crisp coating.
I've been to Nando's twice, first in Dundrum, latterly in Camberwell and I have to report that their wings are consistently unpleasant. The marinade is fine, which is just as well as they spend 24 hours in the stuff. But the grilling process appears to steam the wings. They are flabby, wet, unattractive things and such appeal as they have for the fans must be down to the spiciness.
The big appeal for parents, of course, is the notion that chicken is healthy. That and the "bottomless glass" of fizzy drinks that is Nando's hallmark. Diabetes on tap. On the plus side, I have to say that the service is flawless. Nando's could teach the average restaurant a thing or two about cherishing the customer.
Nando's, in case you're interested, is expanding in Ireland. This is a boom time for fast food. The latest outlet is planned for lucky old Cork.
Lanchester is a fine novelist and memoirist but his restaurant columns are...well... rather anodyne. And he likes Nando's chicken burger. Well, we all have our little weaknesses; mine is the mighty Big Mac.
"It is mysteriously popular with musicians," he writes. Mysteriously? If John Taverner and Simon Rattle were regulars, I could see the point. But he's referring to Jay-Z. Nothing mysterious about that at all.
Chicken wings marinated in piri-piri can be delightful (and if you want to try some, there are decent if nuclear ones at Gourmet Burger in Ranelagh). But the first duty of a chicken wing is to be crisp. Its second duty is to be succulent within its crisp coating.
I've been to Nando's twice, first in Dundrum, latterly in Camberwell and I have to report that their wings are consistently unpleasant. The marinade is fine, which is just as well as they spend 24 hours in the stuff. But the grilling process appears to steam the wings. They are flabby, wet, unattractive things and such appeal as they have for the fans must be down to the spiciness.
The big appeal for parents, of course, is the notion that chicken is healthy. That and the "bottomless glass" of fizzy drinks that is Nando's hallmark. Diabetes on tap. On the plus side, I have to say that the service is flawless. Nando's could teach the average restaurant a thing or two about cherishing the customer.
Nando's, in case you're interested, is expanding in Ireland. This is a boom time for fast food. The latest outlet is planned for lucky old Cork.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Not quite a restaurant review
Last Saturday night I repaired to something that used to be one of South London's best kept secrets, a restaurant with no signage and just an intercom through which you negotiate entry. It's called Upstairsand I loathed it. Let me count the ways...
I know that it's probably asking too much for staff to appear actually keen to take coats but I find it a bit unsettling to hang around trying to offload the outer vestments. I also quite understand that restaurants with a "buzz" are...er...quite the thing but I'd honestly prefer to be able to communicate in speech rather than sign language while waiting in the crowded bar. And when you ask when your table will be ready, it's really much, much better if the waiter doesn't reply that he doesn't have a clue.
So far, so average. But this is the story of a restaurant that did some very good things, if the reviews are to be believed, when it first opened. When we ordered a bottle of white wine at the bar - and not the cheapest one on the list but a respectable Viognier - I really didn't expect it to be opened and poured, straight away, into two glasses which were shoved in our general direction. Having encountered two corked bottles in the space of a week, I don't just expect to be asked to taste I also regard it as minimal courtesy to the people who are paying the wage bill.
A few days later, as I was nodding approval of a bottle in Polpo I mentioned to the waitress that as it was under screwcap (or Stelvin as the closure snobs would have it) that it was pretty darned unlikley to be corked. "But it could have lost condition," she remarked. Bloody hell! This is true and I was very glad, for once, to be put firmly in my box by someone who appeared to be not much more than fourteen. Actually, this happens quite a lot to be honest. I don't mind at all.
Later, at our table, a carafe of red was poured with no opportunity to taste. And this time it was dispensed by the manager.
This lack of courtesy (which, to my mind, equates to "these punters don't have a fucking clue so what's the point?") was enough to poison my mind. I was, as a result, perfectly prepared to hate the food but, in the event, it was pretty good.
Okay, the portions were virtually homeopathic and I say this as someone who generally has great difficulty in clearing the average restaurant plate. However, the dishes concocted by Upstairs chef Oisin, a Louth man by birth, demonstrated that there is real skill in the kitchen - but that it is bedevilled by portion control and sheer stinginess.
A combination of Jerusalem artichoke with what I guess was fresh goat's cheese and toasted hazelnuts was subtle and pretty close to sublime were it not for the nuts getting a rather too fiery roasting. And a miniscule piece of de-boned skate with silky parnsip puree and parsnip crisps was pretty well faultless. Even a skimpy dish of butternut squash (yawn) ravioli was delicate (yes, really!) and sweetly delicious.
My London companion was enthusing about the value at this stage. £25 for two courses. Value? Value? Sorry, but this is Brixton. I know there's bugger all competition but it's only a stiff walk to The Canton Arms in Stockwell or Lambeth (depending on how your estate agent is likely to describe it). I'm sorry (no, not really) but twenty-five bloody quid for two miniscule if well cooked courses is not value at all. Especially when the whole general attitude in the place seems to be predicated on the management's ill-founded notion, L'Oreal-like, that they are simply worth it. They aren't.
It was packed, of course, which just goes to show that a restaurant can live for ages on a reputation that may once have been well deserved. Especially in somewhere like Brixton that has enough youngish middle-class, aspirational idiots who want to be able to stagger home after a wildly overpriced meal in a place that they (mistakenly, surely?) still consider to be cool.
I know that it's probably asking too much for staff to appear actually keen to take coats but I find it a bit unsettling to hang around trying to offload the outer vestments. I also quite understand that restaurants with a "buzz" are...er...quite the thing but I'd honestly prefer to be able to communicate in speech rather than sign language while waiting in the crowded bar. And when you ask when your table will be ready, it's really much, much better if the waiter doesn't reply that he doesn't have a clue.
So far, so average. But this is the story of a restaurant that did some very good things, if the reviews are to be believed, when it first opened. When we ordered a bottle of white wine at the bar - and not the cheapest one on the list but a respectable Viognier - I really didn't expect it to be opened and poured, straight away, into two glasses which were shoved in our general direction. Having encountered two corked bottles in the space of a week, I don't just expect to be asked to taste I also regard it as minimal courtesy to the people who are paying the wage bill.
A few days later, as I was nodding approval of a bottle in Polpo I mentioned to the waitress that as it was under screwcap (or Stelvin as the closure snobs would have it) that it was pretty darned unlikley to be corked. "But it could have lost condition," she remarked. Bloody hell! This is true and I was very glad, for once, to be put firmly in my box by someone who appeared to be not much more than fourteen. Actually, this happens quite a lot to be honest. I don't mind at all.
Later, at our table, a carafe of red was poured with no opportunity to taste. And this time it was dispensed by the manager.
This lack of courtesy (which, to my mind, equates to "these punters don't have a fucking clue so what's the point?") was enough to poison my mind. I was, as a result, perfectly prepared to hate the food but, in the event, it was pretty good.
Okay, the portions were virtually homeopathic and I say this as someone who generally has great difficulty in clearing the average restaurant plate. However, the dishes concocted by Upstairs chef Oisin, a Louth man by birth, demonstrated that there is real skill in the kitchen - but that it is bedevilled by portion control and sheer stinginess.
A combination of Jerusalem artichoke with what I guess was fresh goat's cheese and toasted hazelnuts was subtle and pretty close to sublime were it not for the nuts getting a rather too fiery roasting. And a miniscule piece of de-boned skate with silky parnsip puree and parsnip crisps was pretty well faultless. Even a skimpy dish of butternut squash (yawn) ravioli was delicate (yes, really!) and sweetly delicious.
My London companion was enthusing about the value at this stage. £25 for two courses. Value? Value? Sorry, but this is Brixton. I know there's bugger all competition but it's only a stiff walk to The Canton Arms in Stockwell or Lambeth (depending on how your estate agent is likely to describe it). I'm sorry (no, not really) but twenty-five bloody quid for two miniscule if well cooked courses is not value at all. Especially when the whole general attitude in the place seems to be predicated on the management's ill-founded notion, L'Oreal-like, that they are simply worth it. They aren't.
It was packed, of course, which just goes to show that a restaurant can live for ages on a reputation that may once have been well deserved. Especially in somewhere like Brixton that has enough youngish middle-class, aspirational idiots who want to be able to stagger home after a wildly overpriced meal in a place that they (mistakenly, surely?) still consider to be cool.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Back...with the best of 2009
Years may be pretty arbitrary divisions of time but what the hell? They are still useful for tagging bits of information as we slip them into what we are pleased to call our minds. The year 2009 didn't dawn auspiciously for the Irish restaurant industry and January was as quiet as the tomb. I did my best to cheer us all up by getting some of Dublin's best restaurants to offer lunch and a glass of wine for €20 during the month, as a promotion in The Irish Times, and it booked out within hours. To the extent that I didn't manage to get a table for myself!
It's still not easy to get a table at Pichet (14-15 Trinity Street, Dublin 2; 01 677 1060; pichetrestaurant.com) which opened to much applause (and an account of its birth pangs on TV3). The combination of Nick Munier, as front of house, and Stephen Gibson (ex L'Ecrivain) as head chef was bound to result in a restaurant with attitude but Pichet is more than that: a proper bistro with a terrific buzz and a following that is almost frighteningly loyal. My concern was that a lot of people would not "get" the Pichet concept (and there have been predictable whinges on message boards and fora) but it seems to have seduced most of us.
Jay Rayner writes of Marco Pierre White's "mediocrity" and was scathing about the Smouldering One's latest London opening (I concur, by the way) but his joint venture with Fitzers in Dawson Street rather impressed me (Marco Pierre White's Steakhouse and Grill, 51 Dawson Street, Dublin 2; 01 677 1155; fitzers.ie). There's nothing ambitious here just simple food and some good cooking: the likes of potted crab, oysters, excellent steaks. It has proved too simple for a lot of people (the "I could do that myself" brigade) and others are, perhaps understandably, repelled at the notion of eating in a celeb's franchise. I rather like it.
While there's very little wildly original and exciting cooking going on in Dublin (eat out in London for a few days and you will see what I mean), Sheridan's in Galway is a refuge for those of us who want to eat with a sense of adventure and excitement. (Sheridan’s on the Dock, Galway Docks, Galway City; 091 564 905; sheridansonthedocks.com). Chef Enda McEvoy creates dishes the likes of which you won't see elsewhere: things like home cured duck breast with wood sorrel and nasturtiums, brill with clams, pork belly, lettuce heart and verjuice, giant puffball with salsify, Mount Callan and radish salad, blueberry and thyme jelly, and creme caramel flavoured with meadowsweet. And Enda is not just a chef but a forager too. It makes a big difference.
Karl Dillon and Ian Connolly have created a special kind of restaurant in Howth (The House, 4 Main Street, Howth, Co Dublin; 01839 6388; thehouse-howth.ie) where people return again and again for the cheerful, relaxed atmosphere and chunky food. There's a good short wine list too and I drank a bottle of Shepherd Neame's lovely organic Whitstable Ale on the terrace there on the only sunny evening of the summer. I just like the informality of the food, the care with which raw materials are chosen, the way the kitchen doesn't chef it up, the value for money (there's a daily dish for a tenner). I'd quite like to have The House within strolling distance.
Co Longford may have many sterling qualities but the simple fact is that it has never been a destination for food enthusiasts. Until now. Viewmount House (Dublin Road, Longford; 043 334 1919; viewmounthouse.com) is where Gary O'Hanlon, after some years cooking in Boston, is doing wonderful things with very carefully sourced produce. The dinner I ate there last summer was both seductively delicious and also remarkably disciplined in terms of how it was put together. This young chef is most certainly someone to watch.
I've always like Arnaud Mary's cooking at L'Atmosphere (19 Henrietta Street, Waterford; 051 858246; restaurant-latmosphere.com) but I believe it has reached new heights. This is bloody marvellous rustic French food and in gargantuan quantity, full of strong, earthy flavours. I would - and do - travel a long way to eat this way.
The French have been doing missionary work for quite a while here in Ireland and I can't understand how chefs like Arnaud are happy to live in a country of culinary savages. However, they do and I salute Olivier Quenet for spreading the gastronomic gospel. La Maison (15 Castle Market, Dublin 2; 01 672 7258; lamaisonrestaurant.ie) is all about simple, good bistro dishes while Olivier's (Olivier's at O'Brien's, 8-9 Sussex Terrace, Upper Leeson Street, Dublin 2; 01 668 2594) is more about what you might call country house food (as in Wyatt windows not dormers) such as piegon and rabbit pie, game terrine and deliciously nurseryish puddings. There's a brilliant Cotes du Rhone for €25 too.
Other memorable places and meals? Italian charm at Bates of Rathdrum in Co Wicklow. Great soup at Nude Food in Dungarvan, Co Waterford. Bean curd "home style" at Gong in Stillorgan. Lobster at Chez Hans in Cashel, Co Tipperary. And, best of all, scrambled egg with truffles at Thorntons... Beyond words....
It's still not easy to get a table at Pichet (14-15 Trinity Street, Dublin 2; 01 677 1060; pichetrestaurant.com) which opened to much applause (and an account of its birth pangs on TV3). The combination of Nick Munier, as front of house, and Stephen Gibson (ex L'Ecrivain) as head chef was bound to result in a restaurant with attitude but Pichet is more than that: a proper bistro with a terrific buzz and a following that is almost frighteningly loyal. My concern was that a lot of people would not "get" the Pichet concept (and there have been predictable whinges on message boards and fora) but it seems to have seduced most of us.
Jay Rayner writes of Marco Pierre White's "mediocrity" and was scathing about the Smouldering One's latest London opening (I concur, by the way) but his joint venture with Fitzers in Dawson Street rather impressed me (Marco Pierre White's Steakhouse and Grill, 51 Dawson Street, Dublin 2; 01 677 1155; fitzers.ie). There's nothing ambitious here just simple food and some good cooking: the likes of potted crab, oysters, excellent steaks. It has proved too simple for a lot of people (the "I could do that myself" brigade) and others are, perhaps understandably, repelled at the notion of eating in a celeb's franchise. I rather like it.
While there's very little wildly original and exciting cooking going on in Dublin (eat out in London for a few days and you will see what I mean), Sheridan's in Galway is a refuge for those of us who want to eat with a sense of adventure and excitement. (Sheridan’s on the Dock, Galway Docks, Galway City; 091 564 905; sheridansonthedocks.com). Chef Enda McEvoy creates dishes the likes of which you won't see elsewhere: things like home cured duck breast with wood sorrel and nasturtiums, brill with clams, pork belly, lettuce heart and verjuice, giant puffball with salsify, Mount Callan and radish salad, blueberry and thyme jelly, and creme caramel flavoured with meadowsweet. And Enda is not just a chef but a forager too. It makes a big difference.
Karl Dillon and Ian Connolly have created a special kind of restaurant in Howth (The House, 4 Main Street, Howth, Co Dublin; 01839 6388; thehouse-howth.ie) where people return again and again for the cheerful, relaxed atmosphere and chunky food. There's a good short wine list too and I drank a bottle of Shepherd Neame's lovely organic Whitstable Ale on the terrace there on the only sunny evening of the summer. I just like the informality of the food, the care with which raw materials are chosen, the way the kitchen doesn't chef it up, the value for money (there's a daily dish for a tenner). I'd quite like to have The House within strolling distance.
Co Longford may have many sterling qualities but the simple fact is that it has never been a destination for food enthusiasts. Until now. Viewmount House (Dublin Road, Longford; 043 334 1919; viewmounthouse.com) is where Gary O'Hanlon, after some years cooking in Boston, is doing wonderful things with very carefully sourced produce. The dinner I ate there last summer was both seductively delicious and also remarkably disciplined in terms of how it was put together. This young chef is most certainly someone to watch.
I've always like Arnaud Mary's cooking at L'Atmosphere (19 Henrietta Street, Waterford; 051 858246; restaurant-latmosphere.com) but I believe it has reached new heights. This is bloody marvellous rustic French food and in gargantuan quantity, full of strong, earthy flavours. I would - and do - travel a long way to eat this way.
The French have been doing missionary work for quite a while here in Ireland and I can't understand how chefs like Arnaud are happy to live in a country of culinary savages. However, they do and I salute Olivier Quenet for spreading the gastronomic gospel. La Maison (15 Castle Market, Dublin 2; 01 672 7258; lamaisonrestaurant.ie) is all about simple, good bistro dishes while Olivier's (Olivier's at O'Brien's, 8-9 Sussex Terrace, Upper Leeson Street, Dublin 2; 01 668 2594) is more about what you might call country house food (as in Wyatt windows not dormers) such as piegon and rabbit pie, game terrine and deliciously nurseryish puddings. There's a brilliant Cotes du Rhone for €25 too.
Other memorable places and meals? Italian charm at Bates of Rathdrum in Co Wicklow. Great soup at Nude Food in Dungarvan, Co Waterford. Bean curd "home style" at Gong in Stillorgan. Lobster at Chez Hans in Cashel, Co Tipperary. And, best of all, scrambled egg with truffles at Thorntons... Beyond words....
Monday, January 4, 2010
The dangers of quiescence
Oh dear. I have been quite remiss. It has been such a pleasant Christmas here in East Corked, iced in and forced to stay at home, that I have forgotten to blog. My New Year's resolution should take care of all that. Stand by! Back soon...
Sunday, December 6, 2009
mutiple copies
Moving books today I realised that I have multiple copies of some titles. The highest count is for Monica's Kitchen by the late Monica Sheridan, published in Dublin in 1963. The latest count is three, which reflects the fact that I want to spread the good news of this neglected Irish food writer and tend to buy it whenever I see it secondhand. We seem to have two copies of Back to Basics by Maureen Tatlow who no longer writes on food. This Gill & Macmillan title is still available, I think, and is the best basic cookbook you are ever likely to find.
There are also at least three copies of Edouard Pomiane's Cooking in Ten Minutes (which is both brilliantly instructive and great to read, even in translation).
On a more mundane note, the painting of the drawing room starts tomorrow and, as always, the ceiling comes first. I quite enjoy walls, but ceilings are a menace and this one is big. However, I have just learned that priming with dilute PVA is a mug's game, so that will save some time and elbow grease. The task will be relieved somewhat by listening to BBC Radio 4's adaptation of Dicken's Bleak House online.
There are also at least three copies of Edouard Pomiane's Cooking in Ten Minutes (which is both brilliantly instructive and great to read, even in translation).
On a more mundane note, the painting of the drawing room starts tomorrow and, as always, the ceiling comes first. I quite enjoy walls, but ceilings are a menace and this one is big. However, I have just learned that priming with dilute PVA is a mug's game, so that will save some time and elbow grease. The task will be relieved somewhat by listening to BBC Radio 4's adaptation of Dicken's Bleak House online.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
A long day
This has been a long day. Up before dawn and headed off to Dublin in good time to talk about cookbooks on the Marian Finnucane programme. Then straight home again, making a round-trip of...oh, God only knows. Fermoy-Dublin-Fermoy at any rate. We ate beef stew from the freezer which gets better with time sub-zero and, to start, a fabulous souffle of ricotta, Dubliner and rocket as we watched the Alan Bennett evening on BBC2. Pure pleasure.
Darina Allen phoned to say thank you for the mention on MF. She is a national treasure, as AB is in Britain. And her book, Forgotten Skills of Cooking is a REAL book, written with knowledge and passion. Spent half an hour in Waterstone's this morning considering how much rubbish is published in the guise of cookbooks.
Plans are afoot to launch a website: part blog, part restaurant guide, part guide to great places to buy food and support brilliant producers. When I say "afoot", I mean I have some partly legible notes on the back of unpaid bills and redundant envelopes. But at least it's a start!
If anyone has any suggestions for the best value fizz, white and red wines in the multiples for Christmas, I'd be very grateful. This is for a seasonal special on RTE television. Has anyone been trawling Lidl and Aldi?
Darina Allen phoned to say thank you for the mention on MF. She is a national treasure, as AB is in Britain. And her book, Forgotten Skills of Cooking is a REAL book, written with knowledge and passion. Spent half an hour in Waterstone's this morning considering how much rubbish is published in the guise of cookbooks.
Plans are afoot to launch a website: part blog, part restaurant guide, part guide to great places to buy food and support brilliant producers. When I say "afoot", I mean I have some partly legible notes on the back of unpaid bills and redundant envelopes. But at least it's a start!
If anyone has any suggestions for the best value fizz, white and red wines in the multiples for Christmas, I'd be very grateful. This is for a seasonal special on RTE television. Has anyone been trawling Lidl and Aldi?
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